Tuesday, February 11, 2014

Love & Respect

Jameson and I recently started a new Young Marrieds class at our church and we are going through the study Love & Respect Building Blocks by Dr. Emerson Eggerichs.

We just started a couple of weeks ago so we really have just scratched the surface of this study but I wanted to share with you some of the discussion we had last week because it really opened my eyes on a scripture I have heard so many times but just recently started to understand.

The author opens the first chapter of the book by stating a quote: "I have nothing to wear." 

Now for all of us ladies when we say this it really means we want to jump in our car and high tail it to the closest mall to buy some new items to add to our wardrobe because we cannot manage to think of a single outfit we own that we want to wear. On the other hand, when boys say it they literally mean the majority of their shirts are at the bottom of the hamper and they have no clean clothes that they can physically put on. It's funny how the same quote can mean two very different things depending on who said it.

God made men and women very different. Women speak, hear, and see the world in a very different way than our male counterparts. And in order to have successful marriages we must understand that our spouse speaks, hears, and see's things in a different manner than we do. This is not a bad thing it is just how God created us to be.


However, each one of you also must love his wife as he loves himself, and the wife must respect her husband.
- Ephesians 5:33 -

In this verse husbands are called to LOVE their wives and wives are called to RESPECT their husbands.  Men and women have different needs within a marriage and during conflict women desire to feel loved while men desire to feel respected. During a fight men will almost always say they don't feel respected while women will claim they don't feel loved. At the core of who we are as women we desire to feel loved and secure by our husbands. Likewise husbands desire to feel respected and honored by their wives. So when God commanded wives to respect their husbands and husbands to love their wives He commanded each of us to act in a way that meets the most urgent needs of our spouse. This does not mean that men get a free pass on respecting their wives and women get a free pass on loving their husbands. It means that we are called, as both men and women of God, to act towards our spouse in a way that meets their needs rather than fulfilling our own wants.

My prayer for my marriage is that I will seek first and foremost to honor the Lord and secondly respect my husband in all situations.

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